Super Freak by Rick James

Brick House by the Commodores

Unglued by Stone Temple Pilots

Car Wash by Rose Royce

Get Down Tonight – KC and the Sunshine Band

You Should Be Dancing by Bee Gees

Rearviewmirror by Pearl Jam

Friday Chat – Thinking About Recording Videos Again

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chat-friday

 

I have been struggling so much with whether or not I’ll every record videos again. First, let me explain that when I’m depressed like this, I feel with my whole being that I’ll never come out of it.  But past experiences prove that I will come out of it in time, maybe in a few days, maybe a few weeks. I’ve even let myself feel like this for many months before seeking help. It’s hard to even want help when I’m at the bottom of a pit. But my intelligent side knows there is help for me if and when I want it.

Today I feel like I’m heading toward recording again.  However, not sure what I’ll be like!  lol  One thing I’m thinking of is turning off comments for future videos, at least for a while.  This is not because of the few hurtful or hateful comments I get.  It’s because of the nice ones.  Yes, nice ones are very hard for me to deal with.  I think when I return to youtube, I’ll do my first video trying to explain that.  All I know is I have the comments turned off on this video and also on this one, and my anxiety level has gone down. That’s a good thing!

So, I’m still not sure how things are going to play out, but at least I am trying to come up with a plan to make my return easier on me.  I feel like I’d be starting from scratch.  It’s like I don’t even know how I ever got on camera before!

I also want to reply to the person who told me I bit off more than I could chew.  The last time I took a day off from youtube was March 21st. That’s 5 months of videos where I never missed a day.  And that was multiple videos a day, 370 total, so an average of about 3 per day.  That’s through having my granddaughter here for 5½ weeks then my mother in the hospital and rehab for 3 weeks. I was good with that!  I think I chewed up everything I bit off. If I felt like it was too much, I would not have done it. I have no clue what my pace will be when I return, but it will be a pace I’m comfortable with. If I take big bites, I’ll chew them.

A special shoutout to CourtneyWithLove!!! Today is her birthday!!!  So incredibly happy to have Courtney as my friend!!!  Much love to you girlfriend!!!

Darlene
XOXO

 

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