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How I feel about hitting 100K subscribers on Youtube – The Honest Truth

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I woke up to 100K subscribers. I’d love to say I’m thrilled, but the honest truth is that this number signifies a very long and hard journey with youtube, 5.5 years of ups and downs. There have been many periods during that time when I wanted very much to quit. The stress of it all was just too much.

Putting yourself out there is not an easy thing to deal with. In fact, it’s brutal.  So many of the creators I watched, many with over a million subbies, stopped producing content simply because they just could not take it any more. What I loved the most about how they left is that they did so with no apologies. They just said goodbye.

I’ve been following Amy Lynn Andrews for years (she’s a blogging guru).  I still get her newsletter by email. In a recent one, she talked about “enougable,” a term she made up.  Here is part of what she said:

“I admire people who recognize and embrace enoughable. They do, earn, eat, attain or grow. Then they declare enough. They could keep pushing forward but they don’t. They don’t care what people think, what “makes sense” or what they might miss. It’s like they breathe a contented sigh and move forward in peace and freedom.” – Amy Lynn Andrews

Without realizing it, I’ve been practicing “enoughability” over and over again during my 5.5 year run with youtube.  I have often decided that something is enough.  Even though I stick with youtube as my platform, I completely change what I am doing and I don’t care what people think or what makes sense or what I might miss.  I just breathe a contented sigh and move forward, just like Amy said.

After reading what Amy said, I have confirmation that “enough” is not a cop-out. It’s a form of survival.  I had enough of shoe dances. I had enough of hair videos. I had enough of holding up grocery items to a camera in walmart.  I loved all those things for a while and that content served a moment-in-time purpose. Then it became enough.

The same will happen again and again. One day I won’t sew on camera. I won’t make quilts. I will not sell fabric. I will stop doing all these things, not because I failed, but because I succeeded to the point of it being enough.

Then I’ll start something else. 

This is why I don’t look at 100K subscribers as something I need to cling to because it got me to where I am.  Instead, I look at that number as something I need to be willing to let go of so I can get to where I want to go.

I’m simply no longer afraid to declare when something is enough. In fact, moving forward, I’d love to create more “that’s enough” moments. Those moments are very freeing.

A big thank you to all who have subscribed and also to those who watch some of my videos yet never subscribe (interesting fact: only 33% of my subscribers actually watch my videos, all the rest of my watch time comes from those who are not subscribed).  You are all part of my journey up to this point.

I hope many of you will be interested in my future endeavors too. But I totally understand that most of you will at some point decide that you’ve had enough of me. lol  And that’s okay. I get that.

Thank you to those from my past, my present and a thank you in advance to those who will enter my future. Thank you to my fans and to my haters. You are all an important part of this journey.

 

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