Happy Saturday!
I did something very different last night. I turned the comments off my new video before I even published it. I have turned comments off before, but only after a video got lots of comments that were driving me crazy. This time, I didn’t even want to deal with the comments because I knew I’d get so many, including hate, which I don’t mind as much as those who try to help. I begged for people to not leave me any comments at all about the video, not under other videos, not on facebook, not via private messages and not via email. Of course, some did that just the same. Of course. Because… people must do that stuff I guess.
Once person left me such a horrid message that involved a certain loved one of mine and I do NOT tolerate that in any way, shape or form. Leave my loved ones out of it. She got a once word reply from me. Yes, that word. Felt good. Then I hid her comments so only she can see it.
Four other people commented under my video on facebook. All of those got hidden too because I know for a fact others would chime in either in my defense or to agree. I don’t want any conversations about it. The comment that I hated the most was the one that said “it’s okay.” That’s all it said. If you know me at all, you know I hate shit like that. Fuck a bunch of okay. Just fuck it. What a ridiculous way to shrug off what I was going through.
I’m not even going to show you the video. You know where to find it if you want it. I uploaded it for three reasons. One, because I know someone else out there will see themselves in me and it might help them to know they are not the only ones who feel the way they do about certain shit. Two, videos like that are usually great for views. And this one is proving to be just that. Three, I’m very curious to see if not allowing comments on that video with have any effect on earnings. And I think I will be testing this again and again any time I have a video on a certain topic that I have no interest in getting comments on… which is just about every video I upload. Can you tell I’m not social? Just not. Nothing wrong with that. People drive me fucking crazy, and if I can be on youtube with no comments, that would be just too awesome.
You see, I use youtube as therapy, as my own personal platform where I am completely free to say what I want. I’ve been stifled my entire life and when I did try to talk, I always got talked back to. That’s the reason I want no conversations, no smart ass slaps in the face, no inconsiderate “it’s okay” attempts of kindness. None of it. I hate it all.
If I had to choose between a highly successful channel where I had to constantly put myself through the misery of the social aspect of youtube, or have a channel with zero views yet be free to say whatever I want to say with no worries about dealing with the aftermath, I choose the freedom channel with no views. It’s like being let out of prison and being dropped off on a tropical island all alone. No prison walls and no people to deal with. That would be heaven.
Darlene xoxo
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